Posted by: jt | January 31, 2009

if you were gay, i’d shout hooray!

The most-read post on my blog, by far, is a silly little piece I dashed off in amusement called tennis slash. The BBC has long since changed the video, but that modified picture, what slashers would call a manip, came straight from their website. There are slashers at the BBC.

Now that the 2009 tennis season is in full swing (so to speak), the searches are picking up again for stories and pictures of two hot, presumably, straight boys getting it on. (And really, why stop at just two? The fangirls seem to want Federer/Nadal stories, but Roddick’s looking damn good this year. No play for Andy?)

That said, tennis slash still doesn’t do anything for me. If my brain spends time thinking about Roger Federer or Rafa Nadal or Roger Federer or Andy Roddick or Roger Federer without clothes on, it wants to play too. We’ll have none of this “boys only” nonsense.

I reserve that for John Sheppard and Rodney McKay from Stargate Atlantis.

As the hits on that post began to spike again, I started thinking about the lure of slashing tennis players. There is something more intimate about tennis than most sports. It’s just the two of them out there on the court. There are no teammates and no coaches. These are athletes in top physical condition – the human body worked as close to perfection as we get. It’s physical; it’s psychological; it’s emotional; it’s fun. When both players are at their peak, there is, unquestionably, a connection as they try to read each others’ minds and bodies to anticipate what they’ll do next.

With that in mind, I suppose the slash almost writes itself. To be fair, there is also a constant supply of bait for the fangirls who want nothing more than for their hot boys to get all tangled up together in a net.

I mean…

I suppose this would be called "Verdal."

…if that’s the shot after Rafa Nadal beats Fernando Verdasco, you can’t really blame the fangirls, can you? That’s not a manip, it’s the actual picture from center court, which was on display on the official Australian Open website after their semifinal match this week. That’s an “official” picture, if there are any.

And yes, Rafa has weird shiny little dots on his ass. Rafa likes to draw attention to his ass.

If I’m inadvertently being a mean little slashtease again, my apologies to the fangirls. I have no tennis porn to offer or even recommend. I can point you toward some very nice McShep, if that’s any consolation. I find pining!John and oblivious!Rodney rather charming, and far more entertaining than anything the “real” Stargate writers have come up with.

………

On topics not related to gay porn for girls, send happy thoughts to Roger for me, will ya? He and Rafa face off (in the middle of the night) tonight in the Australian Open final and Roger’s aiming to tie Pete Sampras’ record 14 grand slam wins. Ever the fangirl, I really want this for Roger. He wants it. Obviously Rafa does too, but Rafa has more time. He’ll get all the titles one day, but not yet. Not yet.

*happy Roger thoughts*

………

Update: Clearly, not enough of you sent happy Roger thoughts. :(

And look at all the poor fangirls still ISO slash:

TennisSlashStatsJust a wee little spike in readership.

Sorry, girls. I’ve got nothing but McShep.

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Responses

  1. o be fair, there is also a constant supply of bait for the fangirls who want nothing more than for their hot boys to get all tangled up together in a net.

    Ha!!

    Oh, and about your Christmas present? Really there’s not much to explain other than it’s a book my mom found when she was going through a bunch of boxes of books that had been packed away in storage, and she said, “You should give this to Jenny!” (I had mentioned one time that you had taken to watching NASCAR.) At first I dismissed the idea but then I thought, you know what, I really should give it to you!

  2. :D

    Once I get bookshelves again I’ll make sure the NASCAR book is next to something nice and incongruous. A stack of progressive political books? Rushdie novels? Oh wait, maybe next to the travel guides? Hm. Perhaps the political books provide the best context. Decisions, decisions.

    And…the more I read that line about getting tangled up in a net, the more I think tennis slash would probably have a lot more to do with tennis rackets than the net. But I’m probably making some people squirm…

    :-)

  3. Definitely needs to go next to the Rushdie novels.


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