Posted by: jt | August 1, 2008

verily, who is this Child

This is Hi. Larious.

I loathe to think of what the American media is going to do with it and spinspinspin it into Obama having a Messiah complex but, regardless, it’s fucking hilarious.

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

How am I supposed to contain my sordid tryst with British media when they give me this kind of fodder?

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth – for the first time – to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

…From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

Fox “News” is going to have a field day with this – and it is coming from the also Rupert Murdoch-owned The Times.  But damn…

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

You really need to go read the whole thing, including “Gordon the Leper,” but for brevity, I’ll close here:

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”

Damn straight, we can.

Now, go read the whole thing and click yourself on over to The Times.  I’m certainly not likely to send you there again.

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