Posted by: jt | July 15, 2008

headline of the week

I wasn’t going for an animal theme this week but, when I started sorting through the contenders, I realized I had quite the menagerie to work with.  And frankly, this kind of zoo is just more pleasant than the political kind.

White lion cubs delight crowds There’s nothing remotely amusing about this headline, but these baby white lions are cute beyond reason. I think I’m just going to sit at my desk and watch them nuzzle each other on the blanket all day.  Doesn’t that sound pleasant?

Suburban comfort for massive ram Good lord, people are weird. “It probably smells in here, but I’m used to it.” Can you not bathe your pet ram? Also, “Come 11pm he’ll have a swede or an apple and then he’s out for the night.” Ah, regional language disparities. Rest assured, my American readers, Nick Boing, the ram, will not be gnawing on my arm.  Apparently rutabagas are known as “swedes” or “snadgies” in Northern England. So, conversely…I’m a rutabaga. Gimme a sec to absorb that.

Cumbrian sheep beauty contest Does this make anyone else think of that hilarious, cringe-inducing line, Are there sheep? from 10 Things I Hate About You? Yowzah. I know we essentially have beauty contests for dogs, so this really isn’t so far-fetched but…there’s something just a little squicky about this video. Particularly the butt shots of the sheep.

I’m just sayin’.

Koala bearing up after car ordeal Hah!  Now there’s a headline. “A koala has survived being hit by a car and then dragged for several miles with its head stuck in the vehicle’s front grill, officials in Australia say.” Fear not. He’s “bearing up.” You can read it without trauma.

I admit, the koala came close to knocking this one out of the running this morning but, for the utterly round O my mouth formed as I read it, the Hot-W this week has got to go to:

Teenager finds bat asleep in bra Yes, read that again. “A teenager who thought movement in her underwear was caused by her vibrating mobile phone found a bat curled up asleep in her bra.”  Yes, pick your jaw up. There was a bat in the bra she was wearing. “Abbie Hawkins, 19, of Norwich, had been wearing the bra for five hours when she plucked up the courage to investigate.”

Can we talk about this? I don’t need to examine how this happened. I don’t want to fathom how you put on a bra without realizing that there’s a bat inside it. I’m not going to think about the level of denial you have to possess to try to write it off as your phone for five hours.

No.

What I want to know is, how the hell do I know about this?

Who finds a bat in their bra and takes it to the media?

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Responses

  1. Teenager finds bat asleep in bra

    Okay, that one made me literally(!) laugh out loud. I was guffawing, you might say.


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