Posted by: jt | March 20, 2008

amusement roundup

Update below: See the new version of #4.

I am yet to recover from the drama that was last week. And the week before. Mostly, my body just wants to pull a Sleeping Beauty and crash for 100 years. I was in bed by 8:30 last night – 8:30, y’all – and I’m still exhausted.

In an attempt to wrench my brain out of its current spiral of yousuckyousuckyousuckyousuck, I’m trying to focus on things that amuse me this morning. It’s a 5 Things list, of a sort, I suppose. Perhaps once I have elaborated on this, I will then be able to focus on actually getting some shit done. You know, the stuff I wanted to have done two weeks ago?

Really, this is “just” stuff that’s made me laugh recently. Enjoy…

  1. This headline on the BBC News homepage this morning: Filipinos warned over health risks of crucifixion. Y’think? Crucifixion is well-documented throughout history as a powerful restorative. Isn’t it? The BBC really does win the prize for consistently having some of the most amusing headlines around. There’s this fabulous British, snobbish subtext of, I must deign to report this rubbish? Yes. You must. Because the way you do it cracks me up. Thank you.
  2. In a forward from my boss on bad jokes: A dyslexic man walks into a bra. I have no shame in admitting that, even after reading that at least 5 times, it still makes me laugh out loud.
  3. The Daily Chuck. I adore Heather’s writing and her self-deprecating sense of humor, but I always save the Daily Chuck pic for last. I miss having a dog who is painfully aware of their superiority. Dooce is the kind of blog I’d like to have…and I try to console myself with the knowledge that Heather is a full time writer. Perhaps one day I too will be fired from my job, become an unemployed drunk and then write full time. It’s good to have goals.
  4. Someone found my blog using the search term “lovely breasts.” Sorry to disappoint you, my lovely little perv. I’ve seen some random hits, but that one made my afternoon. Who searches for “lovely breasts?” (Please, do answer that question.)
  5. And then this, which is quite possibly the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen. You really can’t know until you’ve played or tried to play this piece…especially if you’re lucky enough to have hands that are roughly the size of a 10 year olds’. Rachmaninoff, by contrast, had a 12-inch reach on the keyboard. For those of us who can’t reach a 13th interval (I’ve got a 9th, and that’s a major stretch, thank you), he was one masochistic bastard who wrote some cool shit. And it’s physically impossible to play…unless you have a little help.

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