Posted by: jt | March 2, 2008

happy thoughts ‘n stuff

I’m tired, distractable (words that aren’t but should be) and this is already pretty long, so we’re just gonna launch right into what I’m grateful for this week…

  1. The kid keeps making the list. It’s too bad there’s a language barrier, because this week I really wanted to tell H he was being a manipulative little shit. Alas, that would have been completely lost in translation. “No, I’m not saying you’re actually shit, I’m saying you’re a cheeky bastard. That you’re a pain in the ass. That I’m far too reliant on colloquialisms.” I had to settle for expressing, in simpler terms, that he was manipulative and that it’s just damn lucky that he uses his powers for good. And go look up “manipulative” because it’s too complicated for me to explain in a chat. He’s sweet and adorable and both of us had simultaneous pangs of I miss you so much it hurts this week. I’m sure I’m raising eyebrows, but I just flat out love this kid. And it’s totally, totally platonic, so chill. He’s my baby; my sweet little baby brother and well, hug…squeeze…not-George.
  2. Therapy. I had my second appointment with a therapist this past week and she managed to come up with an angle on a situation that I hadn’t contemplated before. Well done! I wanted to applaud her on the spot because…well, I’m an introspective sort and my big concern with finding a therapist was getting one who could actually challenge me. If you think that sounds pretentious, that’s your problem. I’m a high maintenance patient. And? Regardless, I think she’ll be good. Now, if I could just get over the guilty feeling that going to therapy is completely self-indulgent…which, of course, is part of the reason for the therapy…
  3. Family: the kind you don’t choose. Y’know, they drive me a little batty a lot of the time, but I am pretty lucky when it comes to my family. As the resident black sheep / whack job in our gene pool, they really do tolerate me quite well. And love me. Even if we all have very different ways of expressing it. (If only I could convince them to go to therapy!)
  4. Another pleasant valley Sunday. It was a pretty, pretty day here in status symbol land. It felt like a crisp and cool autumn day, except we’re happily (and yes, obviously) on the flip side of that season. The sun was shining, it wasn’t hot and there weren’t too, too many tourists out and about. Stand on the right, walk on the left, y’all. It’s really not that hard.
  5. Remote Self control. I’m declaring a personal television news embargo for the week. I will make one exception on Tuesday evening, to watch the Texas/Ohio/Vermont/Rhode Island returns, but aside from that, we’re taking a week off. I seem to perpetually have CNN or MSNBC on the tube these days and it’s revolting. And it’s not actually news. There’s a helluva lot of hype and speculation, but precious little content. I realize I’m stating nothing new in this paragraph, but I’ve gotten sucked into the drama lately and I’m done with it. I might not have easy access to some of my favorite sources of news anymore, but I can, and will, do better. For my own mental health.
  6. A sliver of the old me. Last week I stumbled into a little hole in the wall grocery store that carries some of my favorite things that I shouldn’t have. While I won’t partake very often, some of these I was yet to find in DC and it’s a little ridiculous just how excited I was to encounter them less than a mile from my apartment. We’re talking about the best Ben & Jerry’s flavor ever; super yummy British cookies; at least 10 different kinds of chevre; an interesting seletion of European chocolate; and gorgeous dates (the fruit, y’all, calm down), the likes of which I haven’t seen outside of Europe (really, I’m talking about fruit, not guys). In what now feels like an entirely separate life, I used to live quite locally. Groceries, coffee, books and damn near anything that wasn’t Target-specific were purchased from the Kowalski family, Paul and Cathy, and Garrison Keillor (or Tom and Hans). Part of what’s been so hard about moving to DC is finding new local haunts. Another part is that there are just fewer locally owned places here. I still miss my Twin Cities, but I’m working on it. I really am…
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Responses

  1. I started seeing a therapist last October. for the third time in my life, last time was 20 years ago.

    I felt the same way until I realized it’s actually MORE self-indulgent to just keep on doing/feeling the same crap over and over without trying to change it, or at least understand it.

    And it was arrogant of me to think I didn’t need help.

    So therapy on – and make the most of it.

  2. Yeah, I’m a therapy kinda girl. It’s been about 7 years for me (where the hell did they go???), but the last time around was literally (yes, M@ber, literally!) life-changing.

    My issue is, I don’t think I don’t need help, I think I don’t deserve help. Again, hence the therapy. ;-)

  3. “My issue is, I don’t think I don’t need help, I think I don’t deserve help. Again, hence the therapy. ;-)”

    Oh Holy Crap (and Crackers) do I get that! That’s why there was 20 years between therapists – I wasn’t worthy.


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