Posted by: jt | January 21, 2008

there is tongue…and withholding of tongue

Oh, Jeebus. I’m annoyed with my late night boys. I go two months without them, have a li’l tiny orgasm when they come back and now, I’m irked.

Yes, I am a high maintenance fan. And?

Lemme clarify, I’m annoyed with Jon and Stephen. Craig Ferguson, I’m sending a virtual blowjob for his graceful handling of one of the most obnoxious guests I’ve seen in a long time (who was wearing a high-necked, loose-fitting, hot pink blouse). Read that again: high-necked, loose-fitting.

Craig: Welcome, Ali, welcome. It’s lovely to see you. What a lovely blouse.
Defensive Bitch: [points to her chest] They’re real, is that…
Craig: I didn’t say – I didn’t say, “What lovely breasts.” I said..
DB: I’m sorry, that popped up over your head.
Craig: All right, well let me just say, “What lovely breasts.”

Nice save, Craig. Both that exchange and the whole damn interview. Save after save after save, turning insult into humor. I think she was going for edgy but, alas, she was just plain rude. (And don’t try to spin some sort of sexist crap on Craig’s welcome, unless you want to take that same line for greeting Ted Danson with, “You look sensational!”) Bah.

Stephen Colbert’s offense is tiny, but since I’m already on my knees for Craig, I might as well stay a while. All Stephen is guilty of is making me rewind his Wednesday night show to verify that he did, in fact, list off the late night hosts as, “Dave and Colin and Jay and Jimmy and Conan.” Oh, Steven. Let me see if I can follow how you fucked this one up. Colin Farrell is Irish, which to American ears sounds an awful lot like being Scottish, and really, I shouldn’t be pissy because “Colin” starts with a “C” just like “Craig.” Fer fuck sake. Dare I speculate, Stephen, you would enjoy The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, if you watched it.

But that’s minor. And honestly, given the number of times Craig hasn’t bothered to learn how to pronounce the names of his guests…we’ll chalk it up to bad name karma.

But Jon, Jon, Jon, my lovely Jon Stewart. You’re disappointing me. Granted, I have ludicrously high standards for you because I positively fucking adore you, but…Where the hell is the full interview with Jonah Goldberg? I wanted it right away, but understood that it would probably take a little time for it to hit the website. Five days later and 200+ comments (most of them) asking for it; why no interview, Jon? I feel I’m entitled to the full 18 minutes or an explanation. Either will do. Yep, I’m entitled. Gimme.

If you didn’t see the “choppy as hell” edited interview Jon did regarding the fool, Jonah Goldberg’s, book on Liberal Fascism, watch it. It’ll leave you wanting more. And yes, Mr. Goldberg thinks your organic food is fascist. I don’t need to say any more about the interview (which you can also watch at the upcoming link), because I really can’t say it better than these guys. I’m not touching the Brokeback comment except to state the obvious: Jonah Goldberg is a fucking idiot. And yes, we all have a thing for Jon Stewart; apparently even (presumed) straight, Republican asshats.

Jeebus.

Jon, gimme my interview. Stephen, extend your wrists for slappage (I’ll be nice – just the good one). Craig, my tongue awaits you.

……………….

Who would have thought there would ever be a time when the posts about Jon Stewart would outnumber the ones on Craig Ferguson? Jeebus.

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Responses

  1. But… where is the promised “blowjobs” category? ;)

    And… high-necked, loose-fitting? FFS, was it a tent?

  2. :-) I’m trying to limit my categories and figured there would be a lot of overlap between “my late night boys” and “blowjobs.”

    Me? A fan of double entendres? Nah.

    Plus, given the influx of traffic from labling something as “politics,” I’m not sure I want the folks who are searching for “blowjobs.” :-) (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

    The obnoxious woman’s shirt was kind of blousy – it had a band around the bottom and it was reasonably fitted, but not the least bit tight. Ugh. I need to be done thinking about her. She’s George Stephanopoulos’ wife. :-( Makes me think George either isn’t as smart as I previously thought or he’s got a few issues.

    Me? Speculate on the psychology of people I’ve never met? Nah.

    To be fair, some of the chics on the INFP boards loved her. I found her hideous and offensive.

    Whatever. I’m done with her. And I’m guessing she’ll never appear on my late night circuit again. ;-)

  3. Blousy! I love that word!


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